Not Enough

Who out there feels like they are not enough?
Who feels like they don't measure up?
Who feels like they are a failure?
Who feels they are an awful parent?

ME!!!! On all accounts!!!!

As a mother I feel like a failure everyday!!! I want to run and hide in the bathroom because I can't handle another minute of the crying, tantrums, poop, drama, flooded bathrooms, constant messes, craziness that my 4 independent children bring on a daily basis. I see other moms that look like they have it all together and I get depressed! Why can't I keep my house clean all the time, why do I struggle with LAUNDRY!?!?!  Why are my children so wild and crazy and I am scared to go anywhere alone with them? I am terrified that I will fail my children in some way! I want my children to grow up to be strong, independent children, who will lead and not follow! I want them to be strong in the gospel and great examples to others!

Let's talk about my poor husband! This man changes so many poopy diapers, changes his work schedule to accommodate me and my crazy life. Doesn't complain when I add another item to my list of things to juggle! Puts up with my constant whining and breakdowns. Folds Laundry!!! He's pretty amazing, right? Do I tell him that often enough, NO! Why? Because I am stuck in the "Not Enough" mode!!!

On my run this morning I was listening to the book "The Power of Vulnerability" Such a great book and I can't wait to listen to more! I had some AHA moments! We live in a "Not Enough" society! We are constantly comparing our lives to others. Do you want to be happy with your life?!? I DO!!!! Stop comparing yourself to others! As a coach I see this all the time! I do it all the time! I wish I looked like my amazing coach Missy and my good friend Crystal! WHY? I feel great! I am healthy and strong, have I reached all my fitness goals? No! Am I making progress? YES! We are all on our own journey in life! Don't compare your beginning to someone's middle!

I am going to change my "Not Enough" attitude, into a "Attitude of Gratitude" I don't know why I struggle so much with this!!! I know I need to, I want to, I have started so many gratitude journals. I am the type of person that has to be perfect or I quit trying! Awful, I know, I am a work in progress. I am going to start small. A dear friend told me that after prayer at night they say something they are grateful for. I am going to start doing that and tell each one of my precious children how much I love them and grateful they are mine! Before I go to bed, at the end of the crazy day, I am going to go over all the things that I did accomplish for the day and not dwell on the things that I didn't get done. I am going to express my gratitude to my husband!!! Maybe one day I will be successful at keeping a gratitude journal! Baby steps!